Memories of Fr. Steve Wilson, C.Ss.R.
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June 9, 2023Steve, Chuong and I became close friends during Novitate and while we studied at Catholic Theological Union in Chicago. We were all different, but we were also intensely private people who found safety in each other. We were able to open up from inside and be real with each other.
Our friendship brought about a lot of inner-growth for each of us. One morning during breakfast at Novitiate, Steve and I got into a discussion about the concept of the Wounded Inner-Child, which is a popular recovery concept. I agreed with it; he didn’t. The discussion became intense. Other guys at the breakfast table said, “C’mon Steve, he’s right. You might as well give in,” but he kept talking in circles. I got frustrated and left the room.
The next day, I went into my room after lunch and saw a piece of paper on the floor. I picked it up and turned it over. It looked like it was blank, until I noticed two words at the bottom of the paper. In print almost too tiny to read, it said “I’m sorry.” There was no signature, but I knew who it was from. I went to Steve’s room and we reconciled. It was a sign of how significant the friendship already was. It was strong enough to survive personal differences and beliefs.
All three of us loved to push each other’s buttons – in a good way. We certainly knew what those buttons were. And any time we got together after ordination, we picked up where we left off. We threw our little barbs at each other and laughed out loud. Steve would always say, “Ah, it’s so good to be together again.”
Steve didn’t want people to know that he was very generous and caring toward the marginalized. He felt like feelings were a sign of weakness. He always said to me that no one could hurt his feelings because he didn’t have any. Then he’d clarify that by saying, “I’m the only living heart donor in the world!” Well, he donated a great deal to this world from the generous heart he wanted to keep private.
Steve (a Seattle native) introduced me to Starbucks, and I’m sure he would have greeted Jesus in Heaven with a double-shot Starbucks latte if that were possible. Hopefully, there’s Starbucks in Heaven.
(The picture above was taken in Novitiate. Chuong is seated, Steve is standing next to him and I'm on the right end of the photo.)